Why You Should Avoid Baby Showers At All Costs

1. They're full of giggling old ladies (surprisingly, they giggle a lot more than the younger women)
2. They're full of pink (even if the baby is a boy you normally end up with a dash of pink)
3. There seems to be some unwritten law that baby products can only come in pastel colors, and those only have so much appeal
4. Pretty much everyone does their utmost to flaunt their girly-ness
5. You hear all sorts of unwanted stories about other women's past experiences with chil-bearing
6. There's no food, only sugary dainty little snacks and there's only a certain nuber of anything you can take before you feel like the veterans are looking at you like you're some sort of pig (even if apple slices are what you take more than three of)
7. You feel underdressed if you're not in a skirt or nice pants
8. You can tell that some of the women clearly don't approve of your purse/bag of holding type IV and its adornments (this one might not apply to most other people, but believe me there's comes a point where it becomes akward instead of evil-ly fun to see them hesitatingly comment on it)
9. Shopping for cards for baby showers is absolutely nauseating (do you have any idea how many say something to the effect of "your life is about to get cuddlier"?)

Needless to say, baby showers won't be becoming my favorite hobby any time soon. And the worst part is I most likely won't be able to avoid attending them because if I ever have kids one will be planned for me whether I like it or not. People don't plan their own showers and they can't keep them from happening either.