SSC:
It's a super secret cult, but that's not what SSC stands for. If you ask what it does stand for, we tell you that it's a super secret conundrum, but that's not what SSC stands for either. There have been a wide variety of guesses about what SSC really stands for (mostly things starting with "super", such as "super secret crew", "super special crew", "super (p)sycho crew", and some others), but all of the suggested meanings are much more interesting than what SSC really stands for. It's actually a rather boring and unexciting name, considering the strange people that named it.
The SSC started close to show week of St. Xavier's production of Miss Saigon. The very impatient and somewhat unreasonable director decided that the reason running crew didn't get the cues perfectly right on our first run of Act II was that there were too many crew members in hte wings. This wasn't the real issue, as others would discover later, but she took it into her own power to winnow out the ranks of the running crew without consulting crew heads about who was actually useful. I was cut along with several other very experienced and helpful crew members, so we formed our own backstage crew. Another guy, Brad, and I organized a crew of the people who were booted plus some others who were never nominated for running crew in the first place (it's a high honor), and we rotated set pieces in and out of the wings so that the actual running crew wouldn't have to. We even wrote up a detailed list of what needed to be where and when, complete with illustrations of Trogdor and other barely relevant pictures.
The High Order of Dipodism:
I already wrote about this. For review, click here.
My position as founder and High Priestess of Dipodism will probably be included in my title for the next cult on my list.
The Chivalric Order of the Sword Organum:
Approximately one third of the three semi-regular readers of my blog is very well acquainted with The Chivalric Order of the Sword Organum (originally called the Brethren of the Sword, but that was changed due to the facts that not all the members are brethren and Brethren of the Sword would have an undesirable acronym). In fact, this reader is the founder so he knows much more about this cult than I.
Assembly of the High-Fiving Shark and Gorilla - Nice:
This actually came into existence before I received my official invitation to the previous society, but I had a better transition for the dipod-to-sword organum jump. This group has technically perhaps been around for ages, by the way we refer to it. In this society, the "we" refers to my siblings and I. Over winter break, my family got the delight of driving nine hours for some quality extended family togetherness. with that side of the family, togetherness always results in fierce subconscious competition over the most unreasonable "accomplishments". It can be quite maddening. Anyway, back to the explanation of this cult. On the drive up there, we passed a sign for Nunica, a city in Indiana. Nunica spontaneously became a holiday in memory of a the day a bus full of blind nuns holding baby refugees was driven off the edge of a cliff, exploding at the bottom (based on an utterly purposefully ridiculous song that was written by some of my dad's brother's classmates for a contest that they won). There are various rules, traditions, and the like associated with Nunica, but I will not enumerate these details at this time. With Nunica in existence, it needed a cult/religion to support it. Based on a pre-existing t-shirt from the Dr. McNinja, the Assembly of the High-Fiving Shark and Gorilla - Nice was created. So far the only purpose of the Assembly is to support Nunica and place its seal of approval (usually a leopard seal, sometimes harper seals will do) on random deeds, sights, or sounds.
Native American LSD Ritual Cult:
This one doesn't have a real name yet, but one day in French class my friend randomly invited me and some others to join her in creating a cult based off of Native American rituals involving hallucinogens. She hasn't really gotten very far yet. We're working on it.
Herbivore-Omnivore Alliance:
Several of my classmates, most of which are my friends, are vegetarians. They want to start a vegetarian club, but they'd like us non-vegetarian friends to be part of it too because that would make it more fun. Essentially, it would just be an excuse to make up some random collection of people who already hang out together and talk on a daily basis, which we could then write on college applications. A couple of my friends are already trying to find ways to "pad their resumés" as people say. Us omnivores refuse to give up meat, so our club needs to have a way to include everyone anyway. One girl came up with the idea that if there's a Gay-Straight Alliance, we should form a similar group called the Herbivore-Omnivore Alliance. The idea still needs some tweaking, especially in the name category. One of our more sarcastic friends who is completely opposed to the idea was quick to point out that the original name would end up being the HO Alliance for short. We quickly dropped that moniker. I will say, I'm more inclined to agree with the sarcastic friend though. What on earth would the society do?
Angsty Girls Society:
This final cult was first thought of yesterday. It was inspired partially by a YouTube video that makes fun of how much of an angsty, moody drama queen Harry Potter is in the 5th book. Such a cult wouldn't require much organization. After all, we're all so angsty that nobody in our cult could really understand what anyone else was going through. Our cult's t-shirts would be all black with black writing on them. Both blacks would be blacker than the blackest black times infinity (but not dealing with coffee in any way), so nobody could really read our shirts, another symbol of how much nobody understands us. Our shirts would have meaningful slogans such as...
- got angst?
- Don't talk to me. You wouldn't understand.
- I ♥ nothing
- I can't ♥ anything anymore because my ♥ has been cruely torn out and trampled into the dust
- you can't see my eyes because the windows to my soul are so filled with pain that you wouldn't understand
- I am filled with angst, even unto overflowing
- and other deep and marvelously angsty phrases that "could be turned into some pathetic emo song on the radio" as my mom puts it
Sadly, most of these societies haven't gotten very far. I fear that the most successful group (the SSC) may have already crumbled, but I'll find out in April if not sooner.
Please note that I am not actually a member of any real cults. We have given up the red-pen ritual of dipodism, neither me nor any of the people in the hallucinogen group have ever done elicit drugs and I don't plan to, and neither me nor my friends are really filled with angst even unto overflowing.
2 comments:
The Chivalric Order is doing fine. It would; however, do better, if I had titles from yourself, Juan, and maybe even Dan. Currently I have established tea-time at 5:00 pm, Monday through Thursday, in the Central Office. Furthermore, coffee (or some related beverage) is taken at 9:30 am on Tuesdays and Thursdays, as well as 2:30 pm on those same days. Strangely no one has appeared for any of these rituals. I would deny culthood, but I now remember that it is, in fact, a religious order.
American Indians (of this special variety) like to take Peyote. There is a supreme court case all about it. In fact, any church or other such religious organization can register for this sort of thing. The government ("The Man") said so.
The founder of the Native American had ended up off-topic in her history class (like normal), so the class talked about that court case instead of Marubury vs. Madison.
For my title, I think I'm just going to stick to High Priestess of Dipodism for now. I'll probably add more as I go along.
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