Two summers ago at CIY I picked up
Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I sort of suspected I was missing a little something in my Christian life. And by a little something I mean a big something, that something being a desire for God. I had an interest in intellectually pursuing apologetics and theology and the like, but it was no different than my desire to learn about things like cells and architecture.
It wasn't until this fall that I actually got around to starting the book, and it wasn't until this winter that I finally finished it, but I'm glad I did. This book has been a huge help to me this semester as I've begun to overhaul my Christianity to build an actual faith in and relationship with God.
Chan's book talks about God's extravagant love and our inappropriate response to it. Every word I read resonated with the struggle I had been dealing with since January. Yes, I know in my brain that God loves us an awful lot and that we should love him and obey him in return. But that's the same line a three-year-old can parrot and not actually mean. I could even say it with emotion from time to time, put it in all sorts of words and metaphors, and provide logical arguments in support. Heck, I'd even been emotionally moved to some degree by thinking about it before. But Chan's book took everything I'd been reading and half-glossing over for my entire life like a toddler and spelled it out plain and simple saying "here is the truth; it is beautiful, painful, and challenging."
First came the beautiful part, the stuff we all know and love. God is immense and powerful and majestic, but he still chooses to love us. He chose to live and die as a man so that we could be purified and stand in his presence for all eternity. I don't at all want to downplay the beauty of the truth, but I do want to say that we can't stop there. Even telling God we're sorry for messing up and trying to be nicer doesn't cut it. It's only once you start to work through the pain and challenge of the truth that the beauty of it really starts to dawn on you brighter than ever before.
Next came the painful part: there is no such thing as a lukewarm Christian. Depending on your definition of a Christian. If a Christian is merely someone who goes to church, reads the Bible, and has a list of prayer requests, then sure you can have lukewarm Christians. But if a Christian is a follower of Christ with the assurance of salvation, there's no room for half-heartedness. Jesus says to follow him with all that we are. To do anything less is hypocrisy that fools only us, if even that much. This idea is firmly supported by scripture over and over again. Yes, true followers of Christ will have times where they mess up to varying degrees, but a life characterized by complacency and comfort is not the life of a person who has been changed by God. There's a lot more I could say here (I will quickly add that he addressed our inability to change by our own willpower), but you've really got to read the book and pray and talk through it.
Before I continue I must add that after the painful part I put the book down for a couple months. I "didn't have time to read." Really, I think I needed to process what I had read, and I needed to be broken more before I could rise to the challenge. This book alone is not responsible for the change I'm going through. Don't barrel through the book in a day because it's a quick read. Take the time to wrestle with it, whether that means a few days, a few weeks, or a few months. I had to do a lot of talking to and hearing from God before I was ready to move on.
Finally came the challenging part. So what are we going to do now? God is handing us this incomprehensible love, and we've largely ignored it, choosing instead to be comfortable and sing songs and say church words. Well, before we can take another step we have to realize that we need the help of the Holy Spirit every step of the way (this sort of blends into the painful section). That done, what we need to do is follow God with everything we have. What will it look like for you to be sold out to God? The specifics are only known to you and God, but there are three main inter-connected points brought out by Chan. One: a life characterized by trust. We should take risks that we cannot possibly expect to end well without the power of God (now, this should be well-seasoned with wisdom, but that's a conversation that could be had at length at some other time). Two: a life that doesn't seek comfort. You're going to have to sacrifice sleep, money, dreams, friendships, and who knows what else. Three: a dedication to meeting the needs of others. A key component of this is meeting physical needs. While you don't have to start a homeless shelter, it's undeniable that God has compassion for the poor and the helpless, and we need to share that. To sum it all up, the true Christian life shouldn't make sense to outsiders, but it should line up with the will of God. In the end, it will be worth it to stand in the presence of God surrounded by those you've been able to bring with you by the power of God.
I've got a lot to work on, but I am working on it. I've got some plans laid out and some ideas I'm tinkering with. My biggest next step is taking everything I've learned, laying aside my cowardice, taking on God's courage, and talking to people. There are all sorts of people I need to talk to about all sorts of things. What's next for you?